Jokes for today...

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bobo1: Pare, alam mo ba tawag sa paniki na mababa ang lipad?
bobo2: hindi eh! ano ba pare?
bobo1: Lowbat pare! Lowbat!
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Boy: Nay! Muntik na ako maging top one sa klase!
Nanay: Bat mo naman nasabi?
Boy: Ini-announce kasi kanina yung top one sa klase. Ang tinuro ni ma'am
yung katabi ko. Muntik na ako!
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Employee: boss pwede ba ako nalang ang papalit dun pwesto sa manager natin na
kamamatay lang?
Boss: ok lang sa akin na ikaw ang pumalit sa kanya, ewan ko lang kung papayag
ang punerarya :)
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Naglalakad ang mag-ama, nakakita ng eroplano
ANAK: Tay ! Krus! Ang laking krus!
TATAY(Binatukan ang anak): Nakita mo ng krus eh! Lumuhod tayo!"
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Man1: Away kami ni misis, nag-Historical siya
Man2: Pare baka ang ibig mo sabihin ay nag-Hysterical
Man1: Hinde, historical kasi inungkat lahat ng kasalanan ko!"
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REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na po ang
next step ninyo??
POLICE: DNA na...
REPORTER: Sir, ano po yung DNA ???
POLICE: "Di Namin Alam "
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May bagong kasal:
MRS: Honey malapit na tayong maging 3 dito sa bahay
MR: Talaga honey? Pinasaya mo ako sa balita mo
MRS: Oo dito na titira ang nanay ko!"
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Tanga: kamusta yung exam mo.
Bobo: wala ako nasagutan, blanko yung papel ko. Ikaw?
Tanga: naku, blangko din yung papel ko, baka sabihin ni titser, nagkopyahan
tayo
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PASYENTE: Dok. . . Ninenerbyos po ako! First operation ko po ito. . .
DOK: Alam ko ang nararamdaman mo. . .Kasi ikaw rin ang una kong pasyente
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Pulis at Intsik:
Pulis: boss konting abuloy lang, may namatay na pulis.
Intsik: ako malaki migay amuloy masta alaw-alaw melon pulis paktay oke.."
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TEACHER: Class draw a fish..!
CLASS: Yes ma'am!
TEACHER: Pedro, why is ur drawing very dirty..?
PEDRO: Ma'am, bagoong po yan."
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makabagbag damdamin na Liham
A Touching Letter....lol

Mahal kong Anak,
Medyo mabagal akong magsulat ngayon dahil alam kong mabagal ka ring magbasa. Nandito na kami sa Estados Unidos para bantayan ang bagong biling bahay ng kapatid mo. Pero hindi ko maibigay sa iyo ang address dahil dinala ng dating nakatira ang address para daw hindi na sila magpalit ng address.Maganda ang lugar na ito at malayo sa Manila.Dalawang beses lang umulan sa linggong ito, tatlong araw noong una at apat na araw noong pangalawa.
Nakakainis lang ang mga paninda dito katulad nun nabili ko na shampoo dahil ayaw bumula.Nakasulat kasi "FOR DRY HAIR" kaya hindi ko binabasa ang buhok ko pag ginagamit ko.
Mamaya ay ibabalik ko sa Walmart at magrereklamo ako. Noong isang araw naman ay hindi ako makapasok sa bahay dahil ayaw bumukas ng padlock. Nakasulat kasi ay "YALE" eh aba namalat na ako sa kasisigaw ay hindi pa din bumubukas. Magrereklamo din ako sa nagbenta ng bahay, akala nila hindi ko alam na SIGAW ang tagalog ng "YALE", wise yata ito! Mayroon nga pala akong nabili na magandang jacket at tiyak na magugustuhan mo. Ipinadala ko nasa iyo sa "Federal Express" medyo mahal daw dahil mabigat ang mga butones kaya ang ginawa ko ay tinanggal ko na lang ang mga butones at inilagay ko na lang sa bulsa ng jacket. Ikabit mo na lang pag dating diyan. Nagpadala rin ako ng tseke para sa mga nasalanta ng bagyo, hindi ko na pinirmahan dahil gusto ko na maging anonymous donor. Nakakahiya naman kung ipagkakalat ko pa.Ang kapatid mo palang si Jhun ay may trabaho na dito, mayroon siyang 500 na tao sa ilalim niya. Naggugupit siya ngayon ng damo sa memorial park, okey naman ang kita above minimum ang sahod.Nakapa nganak na rin pala ang ate baby mo, hindi ko pa alam kung babae o lalake kaya hindi ko pa masasabi na kung ikaw ay bagong uncle or auntie.Wala na akong masyadong balita. Sumulat ka na lang ng madalas.

Love,
Mama

p.s. Maglalagay sana ako ng pera, kaya lang ay naisara ko na ang envelope. Next time na lang....

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How to be a Creative Teacher (like JESUS) - Principle #7

We already mentioned six principles from Jesus:
* Principle #1 - Jesus Invited Others to Talk
* Principle #2 - Jesus' Teaching Connected with Life
* Principle #3 - Jesus Engaged His Listeners.
* Principle #4 - Jesus took Advantage of Teachable Moments.
* Principle #5 - Jesus told stories.
* Principle #6 - Jesus Spent Time with his Students

Today we will look at another principle from Jesus:
Principle #7 - Jesus Began at the Level of the Student

To the woman at the well drawing water, Jesus began with thirst and water, then proceeded to compare that water to eternal life, and then explained about the Messiah (John 4:1-26). To a group of fisherman, he spoke of becoming "fishers of men", and of leaving everything behind, including their nets to follow him. Jesus responded to His mother’s worry by explaining why He stayed in the temple (Luke 2:49). Jesus addressed the disciple's fears at his leaving by assuring them He would prepare a place for them (John 14:1-3). At the Last Supper He tempered Peter’s overconfidence by telling him what to do after failure (Luke 22:32). Rather than scolding Thomas for his religious questions, Jesus gave him the evidence he needed to believe (John 20:24-28).

Jesus always met people where they were, but he was never content to leave them there. He coaxed them into deeper levels of understanding. Depending on the person's character, He gently or boldy challenged their beliefs. He showed them additional insights and new ways of looking at things. He led them down paths with questions and on journeys of discovery. He broke down misconceptions. He challenged them to action! Jesus always began with people at the level they were at and then stretched them and gently guided them to deeper spiritual truths and action.

But to begin at the level of the student you need to put yourself in the learner's shoes, just as Jesus took on flesh and became one of us. Jesus could begin at the level of his students because he understood them. He understands our fears and doubts. He understands our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. He understood what it meant to experience hunger (Matthew 4:2), thirst (John 19:28), weariness (John 4:6), grief (John 11:35, 38) and agony (Mark 14:32-42). He sympathizes with our weaknesses and understands our temptations. (Hebrews 4:15).

In the same way we need to understand the needs of OUR students. We need to add to their basic understanding, the deeper things of God. We need to take whatever spark of faith they possess and fan it into flame. We need to take their simple trust and cultivate a courageous daily walk with God! We need to understand their needs, attitudes, temptations and characteristics. We need to address their fears, answer their doubts, gently correct their misunderstandings, and give them opportunities to discover that God truly can meet ANY need they have.

Yet in all these things we also need to give them time to grow, at their own pace, and in their own directions -- always giving them the support, encouragement and skills they need to stretch and grow -- with arms open wide to catch them when they fall.

Jesus was not concerned with just the content or his words would have been enough. He was actively involved in the life of the learner... dealing with each as an individual, and giving each what they individually needed to help them take that next step in their personal journey of faith. Based on the learner's response and readiness he guided them ever forward in their relationship with the Father.

When we begin at the level of the learner and nurture them and stretch them into a deeper understanding of God and a more committed daily walk with Him, then we are a little closer to Teaching as Jesus Taught.

JOKE AGAIN.... MEMORY TEST NG 3 MATANDA

Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory
test.

The doctor asks the first man, "What is three times three?"

"274, " is his reply.

The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and
says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three
times three?"

"Tuesday, " replies the second man.

The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man,
"Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"

"Nine, " says the third man.

"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"

"Simple, " he says, "just subtract 274 from Tuesday."

A LITTLE MONKEY BUSINESS - Computer geek joke

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/*********************** ATTENTION ***********************/

/*** this might not be funny to you if your not a computer geek ***/

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A LITTLE MONKEY BUSINESS

A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing around the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please".

The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying "That'll be $5, 000". The customer pays and walks out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper and says, "That was a very expensive monkey, most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"

"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that monkey can program in C with very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."

The tourist starts to look at the monkeys in the cage. He says to the shop keeper, "That one's even more expensive, $10, 000! What does it do?"

"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java, all the really useful stuff."

The tourist looks round for a little longer and sees a third monkey in a cage on its own. The price tag round its neck says $50, 000.

He gasps to the shop keeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"

"Well, " says the shopkeeper, "I don't know if it actually does anything, but says it's a Consultant."

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/*********************** ATTENTION ***********************/

/*** this might not be funny to you if your not a computer geek ***/

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How to be a Creative Teacher (like JESUS) - Principle #6

We already mentioned five principles from Jesus:
* Principle #1 - Jesus Invited Others to Talk
* Principle #2 - Jesus' Teaching Connected with Life
* Principle #3 - Jesus Engaged His Listeners.
* Principle #4 - Jesus took Advantage of Teachable Moments.
* Principle #5 - Jesus told stories.

Today we will look at another principle from Jesus:
Principle #6 - Jesus Spent Time with his Students

Jesus spent time with His students. He called 12 people to be His closest disciples (Mark 1:17-20). He talked with them (Mark 11:20-25), rested with them (Mark 6:30-31), and shared the Last Supper with them (Mark 14:12-26).

His call to his students was very simple - "Follow me." It wasn't a call to "Study God's Word" though that will be foundational. His initial call wasn't to "serve my people" though he would demonstrate a heart of a humble servant in everything he did. His focus was a relationship in which his students would learn by spending time with him. They would Learn God's Word as applied in his life and his words. They would learn to serve as they saw him serve. They would experience not only his teaching, but his heart of compassion for the world!

Jesus instructed His students both in group settings and one-on-one. He taught them by example as well as by precept, and His teaching was incidental rather than formal. He called them to be with him, to follow him. He told them to "come and see." "Jesus made disciples by His life. One does not teach faith and love with words alone. Disciples' hearts cannot be set on fire by theories. Fire kindles fire; iron sharpens iron; faith calls forth faith; life begets life." (Roger Fleming in the book: SIDE BY SIDE - Navpress, 2000, p188) Learning was deeply relational and involved not only instruction, but guidance, counsel, imitation, affirmation, rebuke, correction, encouragement, and even friendship. And all these were in the context of a relationship where he spent time together with his students.

He also spent time teaching others who were interested in Him (Mark 6:34-44). He respected people by taking time for children and by talking with the very people others often chose to ignore (Matthew 19:14; John 4:9). He spent time listening to and understanding people, regardless of their background. He accepted Zacchaeus, the hated tax collector, when no one else would. Rather than judging him, Jesus spent time with him and let God’s love transform Zacchaeus (Luke 19:2-10).

Jesus arranged retreats for special instruction, but the disciples' characters were mainly developed in the highways of life rather than in isolation. They learned from their failures as well as their successes. Their experiences in daily life provided the opportunity for developing spiritual principles and values.

In today's church we do almost everything in group settings. Our spiritual instruction is confined to classrooms, workshops, and videos. Learning about the Christian faith was never intended to be an academic pursuit, disconnected from family and life, taught conceptually and in abstraction to the masses.

Jesus knew that "more is caught than taught". When we spend time with students they learn from our lives and we discover a little bit more about their needs and concerns. Then we are a little closer to Teaching as Jesus Taught.

How to be a Creative Teacher (like JESUS) - Principle #5

We already mentioned four principles from Jesus:
* Principle #1 - Jesus Invited Others to Talk
* Principle #2 - Jesus' Teaching Connected with Life
* Principle #3 - Jesus Engaged His Listeners.
* Principle #4 - Jesus took Advantage of Teachable Moments

Today we will look at another principle from Jesus:

Principle #5 - Jesus told stories.

Read through the Gospels and you cannot help but notice that storytelling was one of the key characteristics of Christ's teaching.

Jesus was able to hold people’s attention with his stories, and through His artful storytelling, profound spiritual truths were brought to light. His stories always had an interesting beginning, were incredibly vivid and gripping, and painted pictures and images that not only fired the imagination, but were easily remembered and passed on to others. They were simple stories that were quickly understood, but held truths of great depth that were not quickly forgotten! They created intense images that burned themselves upon the listener's imagination, giving each something to see in his own mind’s eye.

Why Storytelling?

Our lives are lived and told in story. Stories are, in fact, the oldest form of teaching. In Biblical times it was the Father's responsibility to tell the stories of God's people to his children at every opportunity as much as it was the prophet's responsibility to proclaim God's words to His people. Stories are meaningful for any age student from any culture. Every person, regardless of age, background or situation, has a story. That's what makes stories so powerful!

Stories have a way of weaving their way into our subconscious--both the stories of our own experiences and the stories we hear. Stories can be a source of personal growth and build community not only with those around us, but with those who journeyed in the faith long before us. Stories can bring laughter to our sorrow, healing to our hurts, clarity to our doubts, understanding to our confusion, answers to our questions, and decisiveness to our choices. Listening to a Story is like starting out on a great adventure. We want to know how it ends and what it means.

Stories connect those things, that are commonly known, with spiritual truths. The familiar is used to explain the unfamiliar. The concrete is used to explain the abstract. Abstract principles and concepts are illustrated in practical, real to life actions. Jesus used a story of the birds and lilies to help listeners understand a believer's trust in God. He used the wind to explain the Holy Spirit (which was also a play on words). He used grapes and figs to explain fruitful discipleship. He used salt and light to describe the effect of believers on the world. Jesus deliberately took things that his pupils would understand and applied spiritual truths to them.

Storytelling Methods

Jesus used stories of real events, both historical and current. Luke 13:1-5 refers to then-current events concerning Galileans killed by Pilate and the Tower of Siloam. The story of the rich man and Lazarus in Luke 16:19-31 is not presented as a parable, but as a real situation. Stories often hold interest and present abstract concepts more effectively than a simple statement of the point of the story.

Jesus’ most frequent method of storytelling was the parable, often described as an "earthly story with a heavenly meaning.” A parable is a story that uses a parallel between a very familiar situation (like farming) and a less familiar topic (like the Kingdom of Heaven) to shed light and understanding on the latter.

Jesus also used metaphors and similes and other word pictures. Word pictures – words and phrases that create a picture in your mind – are a very effective communication tool. Instead of just saying that it is bad to make children who believe stumble, Jesus painted an effective word picture by saying that it would be better to have a millstone hung around your neck and be cast into the sea than to make one of these little ones who believe to stumble. (Mark 9:42) The latter statement has much more impact. (Luke 17:2,6,24,37) A metaphor is a word picture where something is described by calling it something else. Jesus called Herod “a fox.” A simile is a similar comparison introduced by the words "like" or "as." Jesus described His love for the people of Jerusalem with a simile: “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I would have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.”

All of these show the place of storytelling in the teaching ministry of Christ. Youth ministry is about hearing the stories of young people, creating experiences that result in stories, and sharing with one another the story of God's work in this world through Jesus Christ. And through exploring these stories, we all move a little further along in our journey with Christ.

When we learn the art of storytelling, lives are changed and we are a little closer to teaching as Jesus taught.

How to be a Creative Teacher (like JESUS) - Principle #4

We already mentioned three principles from Jesus:
* Principle #1 - Jesus Invited Others to Talk
* Principle #2 - Jesus' Teaching Connected with Life
* Principle #3 - Jesus Engaged His Listeners.

Today we will look at another principle from Jesus:

Principle #4 - Jesus took Advantage of Teachable Moments.

Oliver Wendell Holmes once described the teachable moment this way: "A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience."

As Christ walked among us, teachable moments often presented themselves in circumstances, situations, and events that were seemingly unplanned. Sometimes the participants would respond to the events with a question or a simple statement of observation. Then, Jesus had a habit of responding with another question or with a saying that was difficult to understand. As he continued to fan that spark of curiosity or interest, the discussion would leave the person deep in thought and the encounter would be forever branded on the listener's mind.

Ask Nicodemus about his conversation with Christ and he could probably tell you every single word! The same with the woman at the well, the man healed on the sabbath, the paralytic lowered through the roof, the woman in the crowd who touched his garments, and I dare say, every person who had a personal encounter with Christ.

Like the rich young ruler who walked away saddened, some left unable to accept the truth that had been revealed. But for others, that one teachable moment became a life-changing experience! Jesus began with the day to day moments of life, and used those moments to spotlight spiritual truths.

It was characteristic of Jesus to make use of whatever occasion arose. This is one of the reasons his teaching was so alive and exciting! When you see the events of life through heaven's eyes, all of life can become a canvas on which truths of God reveal themselves in a myriad of vivid colors and hues!

* When His disciples were accused of working on the Sabbath and breaking the Sabbath Law by threshing wheat, Jesus used the occasion to instruct the Pharisees on the real intention of the Sabbath Law.

* When the woman anointed Jesus' feet in the house of Simon the Pharisee and Jesus was criticized for permitting such a sinful woman to touch Him, He used the occasion to teach on forgiveness.

Do you make use of occasions as they arise in your classroom to teach your students spiritual truths? Look for them, be aware of them, and make use of them.

In the world today, it's hard to follow your youth through the daily moments of their lives and recognize and fan into flame those teachable moments. Yet, with a carefully chosen icebreaker, game, or learning activity, you can create a controlled experience where teachable moments can spring into existence. As they do, the effective teacher can pick out those little sparkles among the mundane and polish them into life-changing diamonds of truth! Truths that will last an eternity!